I always thought I wanted to become an actress. However, I over think everything to the point of sickness with worry over things. I'm lately debating whether I should get involved in a theater group that I did 2 years ago. I loved it last time I did it, I started out not knowing many people but as we went through the show, I found amazing and hilarious friends. In the months to follow, everybody hated me after the show and other things had happened. I felt disgusted with how easily things turned. Last year I went back to get involved in the next show. We had to sing a line and I got so embarrassed that I didn't want to go back. This year I returned with my friends and I still had massive anxiety. I got so nervous about going that it ruined many of my days just worrying about what would happen. We went and while I got nervous a lot and was a bit embarrassed with all the activities, it was alright. Now I'm not sure if the worrying is worth the pay-off. I'm caught in a decision on whether or not I should return to do the auditions. I know that once the play gets started it won't be as painful and nerve-racking. However, I have a tough year of school coming up and I don't want to be constantly worrying. Last night I was dancing around in my mom's house and I had a thought: If I don't do it now, I'll be afraid to do anything ever again, my supposed dream might not come true. However, today I'm okay with that thought and that I can always minor in theater or something like that and that there's no sense of worrying about something that I'm not comfortable with and it won't make or break me.
Yet again, I'm stuck with a decision that either way might be extremely upsetting
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